Day 43

Early foxes started to develop the language of tails. In this species of Neckless Tinyfoxes ( Vulpes Minuscula, 1 cm nose to tail) the signalling was extremely important as their speech was too squeaky to be intelligible. 

1 Happy

2 Sad

3 You WHAT ?

4 Don't get yer tail in a knot mate !

Day 42

Etiquette rule 4 :

In Winter, ( and it's nearly always Winter in the Stone Age ed. ), demoiselles of distinction shall not wear skimpy little outfits from Top Fox to the local disco. They should wear the full outfit as compulsorily knitted for them every Mid Winter by their great Aunts. 

Day 41

Stone Age etiquette 5 :

Caterwauling on one's own at the full moon is not to be encouraged. Instead one must join a harmony caterwauling quartet and have on the required Flint neck wear. 

Day 40

Stone Age Etiquette 3:

Gentle Demoiselles do not hit their prospective betrotheds on the head with their bone fans. They are to be provokingly placed half over the face with the eyes used beguilingly. If they are needed for chastisement a simple firm thwack on the rump usually keeps the propectives under control.

Day 39

Stone Age Etiquette part 2 :

When bringing flowers to one's prospective betrothed, it is better to resist the eating of the flowers one brings her. Instead, wrap them up in a moist leaf to keep them fresh for her to eat them at her leisure.

Day 38

It was discovered that every hovel in the Stone Age had a copy of "The Ultimate Guide to Lithic Etiquette" by Sidonia Malaprop. Here is an extract from "the correct way to drink tea". 

Tea shall not be drunk from communal vats, we are not base animals. No, tea shall be drunk from a cup and saucer, discreetly, and under no circumstances be lapped up, slurped or burped.

Day 37

In the Stone Age it was customary to bring a housewarming rock to new neighbours, the bigger the better.

Day 36

The evolution from the Eastern Small Fox to the Spotty Fox we know and love was no easy ride. First transition was into an Argumentative Fenneck with big ears and an even bigger temper. About 30,000 years ago the ears had shrunk again but the Big Bellied Flipper Handed Fox had extremely unruly spots and was incredibly clumsy. Fortunately these were all minor growing pains, by 20,000 years ago Vulpes Varius Erectus Sapiens Spotto had arrived. 

Day 35

As the Eastern Small Fox gradually lost the banding and increased its spottiness, another parallel fox evolutionary line was slowly dwindling. Vulpes Meanderthalis was having a hard time as it had absolutely no sense of direction.

Day 34

It is thought that by the Squeakoscene era (50,000 years ago) most of the inhabitants of Spottyland had begun evolving into their modern forms. We have already met the Proto Squirrel, here is a Sabre Toothed cat, an Eastern Small Fox, a giant field mouse, a Short Eared Rabbit,  and a fanged hedgehog. Fangs and sabre teeth were fashion accessories only.

Day 33

It was the private view of the Academy of Cave Artists annual Summer show around 40,003 years ago. Joan Turner, accepted that year for the first time, was showing off her piece entitled "Horses on a Rock Wall"

Day 32

The Spotted Proto Squirrels Nancy and Lois were concerned about the mushrooms' lack of fur, and their ability to keep warm enough. So they spent the long Winter evenings making mushroom cosies, and thus knitting was invented.

Day 31

Invited guests to the Sophisticated Fungus coming out Ball (May 100,235 BC) Left to Right : a Grumpy Veil, a Tooth Frill, and Geraldine, a Beaded Curl Cap.

Day 30

Until Boris the Spotted Plume Cap came along, most mushrooms were rather shy, bashful creatures, easily provoked to blushing and extreme embarrassment.

Day 29

Alice, a Spotted Proto Squirrel, was busy trying to teach

her tomato plants to sing in two part harmony, but it was terribly hard to get them to concentrate...

Day 28

Over time and deprived of cake, the pure evolutionary line of Splottos dwindled. The Splottos are now about a tenth of their previous size and survive on vegetation in the deep forests. If you are very lucky (they are extremely fearful of strangers), you might see some in a bluebell wood in May.

Day 27

Unfortunately the Splottos didn't realise the consequences

of making ferns compete...during the Masterfern cooking contest, the plants evolved into what we now know as the Ferocious Fighting Forest Ferns ( Frondia Pugnociosa), terrifying to behold and best kept away from.

Day 26

The Splottos decided to start their own monthly Fern-o-Bakeoff competition, judged extremely thoroughly and diligently by themselves. 

Day 25

Strangely, the cake bearing ferns only became sentient once the Splottos forced them to watch series 1 to 40 of the Great Splottyland Bakeoff competition in a marathon three week long session. 

Day 24

After a hard day at school, Miss Hardash liked to go to the local Topiarist's salon to have her roots done. 

Day 23

Miss Hardash was a stickler for discipline, so when a dog really did do unspeakable things to his homework on the way to school, Waldo knew he would be in big trouble. 

Day 22

Some Scientists say that sentience in plants evolved as a natural progression. I ascribe to the theory that lightning strikes were what caused them to develop intelligence, although Gormsby the Unlucky who had been struck 15 times so far, might refute that argument. 

Day 21

It was hard for the (relatively) little Splottos to realise that they were the first mammals and therefore all the others were their relations. Even the splendid Splottopotamus was a third cousin twice removed. 

Day 20

The Splottos watched as the final golden flourish of the Superiorsaur age produced the Platformsolosaurus and the Stilletosaur. Their inevitable ultimate decline hastened by the evolution of their hoof wear. 

Day 19

When, several millennia later, the Splottos invented the BBQ, their favourite thing was to spend a long Summer's evening toasting marshmallow reeds. 

Day 18

This little gang of Banded Splottos, (giant proto squirrels, Scurrilous Maximus), are raiding some coffee and walnut cake bearing ferns. These are their favourites but in a pinch any cake bearing fern would do.

Day 17

This is Shifty Joe, a Triangulated Crookodile, who fenced off all the naturally occurring Bootsonia Wellingtonii trees and made everyone buy their boots from him. Luckily his was one evolutionary line which didn't last long. 

Day 16

Here are a few of the animals living in the Upper Plasticine age, left to right : Horace the Hamstosaur, Gregory the spotted Goofosaurus , and last but not least Long necked Sally Myfeetaresaur. 

Day 15

Here is the evolution of the Spotted Goofosaurus. They evolved nice long necks to be able to reach the Chocolate leafed Palm. (Palmetto Chocolensis)

Day 14

Evolution of the Amybars. A few of the developments over time. Professor Singlebloom was particularly interested in the evolutionary lines that didn't make it, line two for example, homo notatallsapiens.  The closest Spottyland ever came to having human beings. They came to nothing because they ran out of handbags. 

Day 13

Mr Matter invented a flat screen TV and a remote control so they could screen the webcam footage and they settled down to several billion years of back to back "Life with the Amybars". During which time they watched them develop legs and arm flaps and make practically anything out of wood and porridge.